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Are You Feeling Stuck and Want to Get Unstuck?

As the pandemic continues, you may be finding that it’s hard to hold onto your mojo – your magic, your energy, your enthusiasm.

You are not alone.

There’s a lot of talk about the rise in anxiety and depression in kids and teens but what about the parents?

If you’ve been wishing you could live in a cabin in the woods and escape for a while, you wouldn’t be the first.

The holiday season brings a lot of different emotions…joy, grief, overwhelm, gratitude, stress, peace…no wonder you might be feeling discombobulated.

There’s a very helpful tool, called the Scale of Emotions which can help you get unstuck.  It recognizes that it’s almost impossible to go straight from feeling really down to really happy.   Did you know anger is higher on the emotional guidance scale than depression?  When I see my clients who are struggling with depression, get angry, I see this as them moving up on the scale of emotions and connecting to their power again.

Image Credit –  IG: Anna Garcia_lifecoach

Let’s talk about how to manage these hard times…and slowly move up on the Scale of Emotions

Ten Ways to Get Unstuck

①   Give yourself permission to withdraw and have down-time, as long as you also have a plan to come out of your turtle shell.

Explain to your kids and your family that your “gas tank” is almost empty or empty, so you’re in need of some quiet time but that you will be reconnecting with them in “x” minutes or hours.  (For young children, you will need to stay with them, but find a way to restore your energy while remaining connected.  When my kids were young, and I was feeling over-tired, I would cuddle up on the couch with them and read them stories.  I didn’t have to use brain power to think as I could just read the words off the page – it allowed me to recharge and they loved the stories.)

②  Go Out into Nature – whether it’s a family walk or a walk by yourself, getting into nature is grounding.

It’s peaceful.  It gives us fresh air and Vitamin D.  A walk in nature is usually accompanied by a sight that creates wonder, such as beautiful snow on tree branches, a colourful leaf, a stunning flower, an eye-catching bird etc.  Just seeing these beautiful things in nature, may bring you up to contentment on the scale of emotions.

③  Let your close friends and family members know that you’re having a hard time right now.

By being vulnerable, it creates deep, authentic connection, and stops you from keeping everything all bottled up inside.  This may bring you out of the overwhelmed stage, as you release some of your stress.  It also opens up others to sharing on a deeper level – you may find that they are struggling too.

④  Do something that you enjoy.

This could be a sudoku, a crossword, exercise, cooking, reading, or listening to your favourite song.  If an activity brings you some joy, it will bring you up to contentment.

⑤  Take small steps.

You may be used to taking on big projects, but to get unstuck, you need to have small wins.  Each small win, will give you some dopamine, which will help motivate you to take the next small step. Give yourself permission to slow down and just go step-by-step.

⑥  Self-Care

This may look like yoga or a bubble bath.  It can also mean wearing your favourite perfume or cologne.  Having a morning and evening facial cleansing routine can also help you feel better as you take time to spend a few minutes in the morning and a few minutes in the evening taking care of your skin.  Feeling a little better about yourself will bring you up to hopefulness.  (A teen client once taught me that HOPE stands for “Hang on, pain ends”.)

⑦  Schedule Tasks

Research finds that when we write things down, we’re much more likely to follow-through.  Furthermore, waiting to feel motivated is not recommended.  It’s better to act first and then feel the positive satisfaction, which will then lead to further action.  Even if you’re in withdraw mode, see if you can schedule a walk with a close friend or family member.

⑧  Carry a rock with a one-word mantra.

You’ve probably seen the rocks with words printed on them, such as “Believe”, “Courage” or “Trust”.  Find one with a word that resonates for you and carry it in your pocket.  When you need a little extra strength, bring out your rock, give it a rub, and read the word. This helps you move to Positive Expectation/Belief.  (If you know a friend or family member who could do with some extra support, buy them a little rock like this, you have no idea how much it might help. The Etsy store has many.)

⑨  Appreciations

Similar to gratitude, express your appreciation to your loved ones, which will help you feel more connected.  Write down your appreciations in a journal and you will feel more contentment.  Try to say at least one appreciation to each of your family members, every single day.  Expressing appreciation raises you up to the top of the emotional scale.  Give it a try and see what happens.

⑩  Surrender by stating what is distressing you.  (You can share with someone or do this by yourself.)

Take some deep breaths and accept what is.  Some situations will remain as is and you can make peace with this, as long as you are not holding onto a victim role.  Other situations will feel better when you have made a change.  Let go of the judgement.  Find a way to feel more peaceful and accepting about your current circumstances.

In the past I’ve written about Ambiguous Loss in connection to the pandemic.

Be kind to yourself and others as we go through these unprecedented times together.

No one is a “super human” and the pandemic has reminded us of this.

Warmly,

* For information about my January 2022 Anxiety Management Groups for children (in-person and online) click here.