Blog

This Easter long weekend is not like one we’ve ever experienced before.  These are very challenging times and as parents we need to find ways to find the “silver lining” and find ways to maintain connection.

I’ve now been Zoom Counselling with children, teens, and parents for two weeks and I’ve noticed some similar themes for many families:

• Feelings of stress and exhaustion (especially for working parents who are still trying to work from home and home school their children at the same time)
• Fear and anxiety (especially for grandparents or others with immune compromised systems)
• Feelings of social disconnect
• Feelings of sadness for cancelled events, grade 12 traditions etc.

People are experiencing a lot of loss from the pandemic, but there has also been a lot of positives that have come from these difficult times, and to help ourselves and our children be resilient we need to focus on the “silver lining”.

Finding the “Silver Lining” of the Pandemic

By doing nice things for others, it helps others feel good and the person doing the good deeds, feels good too.

• The attached photo of teddies is of a friend’s display in New Zealand.  Over there, people are dressing up teddies and creating sweet window displays our outdoor displays.  In our local neighbourhood, we are seeing more and more hearts appearing on people’s windows as families go on “heart hunts” while taking a family walk
• Sidewalk chalk messages and pictures – another way of bringing a smile to people passing by
• Art and homemade cards for isolated seniors living in care homes and hospitals
• Free online concerts by local and famous singers
• Authors reading their books to children
• More and more people planting vegetable gardens
• Strangers helping strangers
• Look at the images showing the planet is healing in some areas

Staying Socially Connected from Afar

Stephen Porges, Ph.D and Director of the Trauma Research Center at Indiana University discusses how we need to be apart to deal with the pandemic, but we still need to be sensitive to our nervous system’s need to socially connect.  By socially connecting with others, it helps us to co-regulate.

“If we don’t engage people for a period of time, we start to become too isolated and this is really bad for our nervous system. As we separate, the notions of being overly concerned or paranoid about the situation will increase because we are not getting sufficient opportunities to co-regulate.” ~ Stephen Porges

He explains that it’s very important to hear each other’s voices, thus telephone and even better, video-chat helps our nervous systems co-regulate.  He says texting and email is helpful, but the sound of one’s voice and seeing the face of another is what helps the most.

I’ve been recommending to my clients to arrange virtual playdates with friends and virtual meet ups with relatives.  For example:

• A virtual baking playdate (two friends, with parents help for the younger kids, make cookies or a cake in their own kitchens simultaneously)
• A virtual arts and crafts playdate (same idea of planning a craft or art activity that each each child can do in his/her own home)
• A virtual music concert for relatives (piano, singing, violin etc.) or read them a story
• Virtual game such as BINGO, Words with Friends 2, 
• Hide and Seek – child hides in a room where the computer or tablet is, and a grandparent can call out and ask child if he/she is hiding under a table, behind a chair etc.
• Host a Netflix Party – Netflix has now made it possible to watch a movie with friends and have a simultaneous group chat
• Play Quiplash online with a bunch of friends or relatives (Take turns answering the funny sentence prompts and everyone votes for the best answer)
• Use Zoom or the House Party App to have a group chat amongst friends
• Get a group of friends together for online basketball!
• Exploding Kittens (is a very popular card game that I would often see kids playing in our clinic waiting room and now it can played online too!) and UNO too!

A Time Capsule to Record this Historic Pandemic

I’ve been taking some photos and thinking of things I want to write down to remember all the changes we’ve been experienced during this time, so I was very happy when a client sent me a Time Capsule PDF activity that she found.

I love that it’s been created by a Canadian Graphic Designer for free and there’s a workbook of time capsule activities for kids AND one for teens/adults too!  (In English and French)

Check it out HERE.

These are very challenging times but it will force us to make changes and GROW.

If we can try to find the opportunity in the crisis, the silver lining, it will help us be more resilient.

I think these words, which are attributed to Bill Gates (although I can’t find true authentication of this), help us see how we can shift to the “silver lining”:

“When you go out and see the empty streets, the empty stadiums, the empty train platforms, don’t say to yourself, ‘My God, it looks like the end of the world.’ What you are seeing is love in action. What you are seeing in that negative space is how much we do care for each other, for our grandparents, for our immune-compromised brothers and sisters, for people we will never meet. Look into the emptiness and marvel at all that love. Let it fill you and sustain you.” ~ Bill Gates

I wish you and your families a weekend of love and connection,

Warmly,

PS.  I have created a free digital guide to support you in supporting your child to feel less anxious.  You can download, Ten Tools To Decrease Coronavirus Anxiety here.

PPS.  If you’re interested in booking a Zoom counselling session with me for you, your child (ages 7+ for online counselling) or teen, please email westvan@ableclinic.ca and one of our ABLE clinic administrative staff will be in touch with you.

*Please continue to vote for me and my YWCA Cause: Early Learning/Childcare for single/teen moms by clicking here – the YWCA needs support now more than ever.  Thank you

Other blogs to support you during COVID-19:

#1 Tip for Parents for Handling Anxiety About the Coronavirus with Kids

 

Five Stages of Loss Connected to the Coronavirus