Going back to school… Is your child or teen feeling a little uncertain about what school will be like?
Newness and uncertainty are fertile ground for anxiety but there are ways to reduce back to school anxiety.
5 Ways to Reduce Back to School Anxiety
→ As a Parent, plan how you can stay grounded and centered.
Our kids pick up on our energy, especially the highly sensitive ones! Remember that having an anxious child is not a “behaviour problem” or a “lack of good parenting skills”, some children are born more sensitive and prone to anxiety. Let go of judgment and focus on compassion. No child wants to feel this way. The key is to stay calm and support your child without sounding frustrated, rushed or defeated.
→ If you child/teen is particular about their clothing choices, encourage them to plan their outfit a few days before school starts so there’s no last minute panic about something being in the dirty laundry hamper or something not fitting. Start shopping for some back-to-school clothes now.
→ Adjust the sleep schedule so your child/teen starts waking up earlier and going to bed earlier at least a week before school starts.
→ Plan for your child or teen to meet up with a friend on the playground, outside school or car pool together. It’s easier to make that initial transition with a friend.
→ Use the power of words to turn anxiety around (see below)
The Power of Words on the Subconscious Mind
The subconscious mind is more powerful than people often realize.
It listens to our words and the pictures in our mind, and then follows what we’ve said.
This is why it is SO important to help your child switch from saying:
“I’m scared” “I’m nervous” “I’m worried” to “I’m excited!” or “This is a challenge but I can do it!”
Many people don’t realize that the subconscious mind listens to what we say, whether we mean it or not! Even if we’re really nervous, it’s much better to say “I’m excited!”
Your child may feel “butterflies” in their stomach but this can also be compared to feelings of excitement.
As they walk into school, they will feel calmer if they repeat to themselves “I’m excited. I’m excited. I’m excited. I’m looking forward to this. I want to see or make friends.”
The subconscious mind does not differentiate between what is real and what is imagined. Therefore, even if your child is feeling really anxious but says to him/herself “I’m excited” the subconscious mind will focus on the words of “I’m excited”and this will reduce the feelings of anxiety in the body.
The subconscious mind cannot hold opposing beliefs. This is another reason to focus on positive words as they will override the negative thoughts and feelings.
Lastly, you need to feed positive thoughts into your child’s subconscious mind by telling them that they are capable, you trust that they will handle everything and that the day will go well.
It is not helpful to ask your child if they’re worried.
It is not helpful to text your child multiple times on the first day of school because you’re worried about them. This just reinforces the belief that they should be really worried, or why else would their parent be texting them so many messages!
Don’t let your anxiety overflow onto your child.
We are each 100% responsible for our own feelings. As parents, we need to be the “rock” that is solid and grounded and gives the message “I believe in you. You are capable.”
I hope these tips will reduce your child’s back to school anxiety and their transition goes well.
I have listed additional resources to support you below.
Warmly,
My children’s book, Surfing the Worry Imp’s Wave, is an additional resource for children ages 5-10 years and their parents. If you live in the Vancouver area it can be delivered to you within the next two days. Click here for more information and to purchase.
Starting September 13th, 2022 I will be running more in-person “Brain Science” Groups (and Sept. 14th, more online “Brain Science” groups) to teach children about anxiety and anxiety management tools. These sessions will also help reduce back to school anxiety. These groups are for children ages 7-9yrs. and 10-12yrs. Registration has started. Please click here for more information.
Here’s a previous article on how to reduce back to school anxiety, with different tips, read more here:
Click HERE to watch my TEDx Talk for tweens and teens: The Impact of Anxiety and What to Do About It!
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