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September sometimes called Stresstember is a time of transitions.

No matter what age your child is…going to preschool. elementary school, high-school, Gap year, college, university, work force…it’s all a big change from summer to September.

Here are 10 tips for back to school anxiety:

10 Practical Tips to Manage Back-to-School Anxiety

1 BREATHE –> Locate where in your body you feel nervous and then breathe into it.  Take at least five slow deep breaths into it.  They could also try square breathing, figure eight breathing or five finger hand breathing if they prefer.  (Explain that this is how they tell their Amygdala alarm that they’re okay and not experiencing a true emergency.)

2 STAY IN THE PRESENT –> Use their five senses to stay in the present.  Do the 5-4-3-2-1 game (this works for adults too!).  What are five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell and one thing you can taste? (You can change the order if you wish.)

3 WHAT IS versus WHAT IF –> When we ask “What if…?” questions we are going into the future, wondering about what might happen.  None of us have a crystal ball and neither does Worry so change it to “What is happening right now?” Narrate to yourself what you are doing step-by-step.  For example, I am walking up to school left-right-left-right, I am opening the door, I am walking up the stairs left-right-left-right, I am going to my locker or walking through the door, I am hanging up my jacket and backpack etc.

⒋ FACTS and EVIDENCE–> The facts are that everyone is a bit nervous on the first day of a new school or a new job.  Some people are better at acting confident and you wouldn’t guess they’re feeling nervous inside but it’s normal and natural to have some nervousness.  Everyone is in the same boat. Everyone is feeling the uncertainty of not knowing lots of things about this new school year or job.  Remember you’ve done hard things before and got to the other side.  Also, you usually enjoy whatever the experience is that at first seemed so anxiety producing.

⒌ YOUR MIND BELIEVES WHAT YOU TELL IT –> Feeling excited and feeling nervous have similar feelings of “butterflies” in the stomach.  Tell yourself you’re excited, even if you’re feeling nervous.

⒍ USE POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS –> Remember the 3Cs:  I am CONFIDENT,  I am CALM, I am CAPABLE!

７. TRUST versus WORRY –>  We don’t know what the future holds and there are two paths that take us to the exact same place, called the future.  The path of worry or the path of trust.  Think of the path of worry as mud and sludge with thorny bushes and dark clouds and rain.  Think of the path of trust as green grass, flowers, birds, butterflies and sunshine.  Both paths take us to the future so it feels better to trust our way there and believe that I’m okay at this very moment than to worry all the way there.

8. FAKE IT TIL YOU MAKE IT! –> Act as though you’ve got this, and then you won’t be feeding the worries which will shrink them.  For teens with phones, play calming music in your ear buds or a calming meditation app such as Headspace or Calm as you walk up to school or in the hallways while doing you’re best to feel confident.

9 WHICH CHARACTER ARE YOU GOING TO FEED? –> Imagine you have a positive character on one shoulder helping you feel empowered and a negative character on the other shoulder trying to worry you and give you self-doubt – you feed the one that you listen to and this makes it stronger.  Which one are you going to feed?  Imagine flicking the other one off your shoulder.

⒑ DRINK WATER –> Water helps us relax as it hydrates us. It’s also a good, healthy distraction when feeling nervous. Fill your water bottle and drink lots of water.

If your child has a phone, have them take a picture of these ten tips summarized below. If they don’t have a phone they could write them out on a flashcard/recipe card and put them in the front pocket of their backpack so they can refer to it when necessary.

 

1. Breathe
2. Stay in the Present 5-4-3-2-1
3. What is…happening right now?
4. Facts and Evidence
5. I’m excited!
6. Three Cs: I’m confident, calm and capable!
7. TRUST
8. Fake it, til you make it!
9. Feed your positive power character
10. Drink water

 

What Do Parents Need to Focus on?

• The day before school, parents need to focus on keeping themselves and the house calm and connected.  Sensitive kids and teens pick up on everyone’s energy.  If you are stressed and projecting your worry onto your child or teen, this will make things more challenging for them, so be very aware and conscious of the energy that you are emanating. Be sure that the day before school starts is a chill day not a busy day!  Also, be aware of your tone of voice.
• Be Prepared!  Get up extra early so that there is buffer time if anxiety suddenly starts intruding.  It’s best to pack lunches the night before, and have your kid pack their back pack the day before and choose their clothes the day before.
• It’s usually easier to arrange a car pool or kids walking together so they have a friend to arrive at school with and distract them.
• For elementary age kids, get to school early so there’s time to play on the playground and exercise to get rid of some of the first day jitters.

and most importantly, give your child/teen the message that you believe in them because you know they are capable.

Warmly,

Sharon

PS.  To have your 7-9 year old or 10-12 year old child learn more strategies like the ones above, you may wish to sign them up for my next round of “Brain Science” anxiety management groups which I’ve been running for the last 12 years! The next round start on Tuesday, September 12th. You can read more about the groups and register here.

Sharing is caring – please share these tips for back to school anxiety with someone who could benefit 💗

My children’s book, Surfing the Worry Imp’s Wave goes into further detail about the ten tips listed above. You can order it here.