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The 20-20 Decade of Being Clear-Sighted

​When we entered this new decade of 2020, the name of the year – twenty-twenty, reminded us to be clear-sighted!

When we started this new decade, we had no idea how much our world, as we knew it, was about to be turned upside-down, and we would have no choice but to focus on the really important things.

Last year, my 98 year old grandmother who lives in England, and who had always lived independently, fell, broke her hip, and had to move into a nursing home.  I knew this would be devastating for her.  She had flown to Canada for me during big changes in my life: my wedding, the birth of both my children (so she could walk them and rock them while I slept) and I knew it was important that I find a way to visit with her again.

After completing all the Covid tests, and 5 day quarantine at my best friend’s house in England, I was able to visit her!  When I arrived, she said:  “Sharon, I thought this day would never come.”  I was so happy I’d made the journey.  These moments are the important ones that can take a lot of planning but are worth every moment.

(For her 98th birthday, my sister and I sent her a gratitude list of 98 special memories we had with her.  Focusing on gratitude is one of the recommended ways to keep ourselves focussing on what is important, especially during a pandemic.  It gave us and our grandmother, smiles and positive feelings.)

As the pandemic continues, we continue to live in a time where it is helpful to create some new rituals to create positive change for ourselves, our family members, the people around us, our society and our planet.

After all, “If nothing changes, nothing changes”, and as Albert Einstein is credited with saying:

“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results​.”

Twenty-Two Ways to Create Positive Change in 2022…Choose Five

Read through the list below, and see if you can choose five to act upon…

①     Meditate (this will keep you grounded, even when life is tumultuous).   Try Free Apps such as Insight Timer, Calm, or a free trial of Headspace.  Even five minutes/day will make a difference.

②     Commit to a daily gratitude practice – research shows a strong association between increased happiness and daily gratitude

③     Find a podcast that you enjoy listening to when you’re driving, or folding laundry

④    Take responsibility for your feelings instead of blaming others or external circumstances (Stay away from the Four Horsemen of Communicating)

⑤     Stay in the present – practice taking deep breaths every time you’re at a red traffic light.  By staying in the present, you’ll be able to let go of judgement more easily and respond versus react

⑥      Think of one way that you can be more environmentally aware.  Ie. Carry a water thermos

⑦     Incorporate physical activity into your daily schedule – walk at least 20 minutes/day – this is really good for mental health too

⑧     Think of a goal or an item on your bucket list, write it down and the steps it will take to make it happen

⑨     Read or listen to an inspiring book

⑩      Find some new healthy recipes and cook them.  Eg. A healthy, nurturing soup

⑪     Invest in yourself – take a course that interests you. For example, join a parenting group that keeps you aligned with your parenting goals,  or take a yoga class

⑫     Be of service to others – is there a volunteer opportunity that interests you or do you know someone who would benefit from your home-made baking or chicken noodle soup?

⑬     Get enough sleep so you can function at your highest level

⑭     Create a spa experience for yourself – a face cleansing ritual, a bubble bath, soothing music, essential oils

⑮     Hug more –  Hug your kids, hug your spouse, hug your pet, hug your friends.  Hugging gives you and them the feel good chemical of Oxytocin

⑯    Plan a trip, book off your vacation dates now so that it will happen.  Collaborate as a family as to what type of vacation might be something for everyone to enjoy. Even if international travel isn’t possible, how about a local trip?

⑰    Friendship is like a plant – it needs watering and fertilizing,  Reach out to a friend or friends who you haven’t been in touch with for a while and meet them for a walk or a lunch

⑱   Plan Dates with your partner.  If you have a partner, write a list of things you’d like to do together and start booking them on a calendar.  (Even when you have a newborn baby, it could be a candlelight dinner, with take out food at home while baby sleeps or going for a walk.). Play Backgammon, or Crib together.

⑲   Communicate, communicate, communicate – instead of raising one’s voice at one another or at the kids, talk with your “I” messages.  Let each other know how you are feeling by saying “I feel……..when……and I wish……”

⑳   Make family meals, with no screens, a priority.  Whether you’re in a restaurant or at home, sit down to connect and eat together

㉑  Focus on 1:1 Connection Time –  When you’re feeling overwhelmed, it can be hard to connect, but when the opportunity presents itself, try making it a priority to drop everything and give eye-contact and attention

㉒  Pause and Be Open – When there’s a difference of opinion, pause and truly listen (without thinking of your rebuttal). Read this blog on how to truly listen and validate (with a pdf of 12 validating sentence prompts)

 

📷 🙏 Photo credit:  Thank you to Ian Schneider at Unsplash

For information about Sharon’s January 2022 online and in-person Children’s Anxiety Management Groups, click here.