Creating a Family Table: The Importance of Comfort and Connection
(Guest post by Mary-Catherine Kay)
Growing up, our parents’ families valued the idea of sitting down together at the end of the night to gather around the table and enjoy a home cooked meal. It was a way not only for parents to learn what transpired in their child’s school day, but also a way for the child to learn the value of a strong family unit from their elders.
Today, families face new challenges and busy lifestyles in the wake of technology, extracurricular activities and the busy schedules of dual breadwinners. Despite these roadblocks, experts say it’s still important today to connect with your kids and your partner for a meal at least 3-5 times per week. There are many benefits to a family-style meal, both physically and emotionally for children as they grown through difficult phases of adolescence.
The Benefits and Importance of Family Mealtimes
When kids eat with their siblings and parents, researchers have discovered that they are better off in mind and body.
Studies have shown that children who eat with their families on a weekly basis end up consuming a more balanced diet and have healthier body weights than those who don’t.
Sitting down for nutritious meals ensures that your kids are getting the food they need to grow and perform well in school, sports and other activities.
For the parent, eating healthy meals is a way to hold themselves accountable for keeping their own diets in check, as it is just as important for adults to maintain a balanced diet for their overall health.
Creating healthy meals can also instil good eating habits for kids as they grow up, giving them the understanding of what a good meal looks like, and what appropriate portion sizes are. Even if you aren’t a natural cook, making dinner prep inclusive and simple is a great way to involve your kids while also practicing your skills.
Enjoying meals together is not only important for physical health, but also your children’s emotional wellbeing.
According to a study, children who eat with their families are at a lower risk for depression and anxiety, had better moods and were less likely to act out. Family dinners were also linked to less likelihood of teen substance abuse.
Taking the time to eat dinner with your family gives you the opportunity to connect with them on a daily basis, and can give you a better understanding of how your kids are doing socially. Remember that children are under a lot of pressure as they develop and find their place in an ever-changing society, but will feel more secure if they can share what they are going through with those who love and connect with them.
Connecting in Comfort
Understanding how important it is to spend time with each other everyday is the easy part, while the bigger challenge lies in inspiring your family to want to come to dinner night after night. Making dinner a priority is difficult when you are up against forces like Netflix, homework and smartphones. Eating on the couch every now and again is fun, but sitting around a table where you can see everyone without distractions is actually the healthier option in the long run. The best way to get your family to want to eat dinner together is to make your dining room or kitchen clean, comfortable and welcoming in every way.
The most obvious way you can make dinnertime comfortable is by creating a physical environment that is warm and soothing. When picking out a decor, keep comfort in mind and invest in dining room furniture that is easy to sit around, and big enough to seat the whole group. No one enjoys sitting on stiff seating or being cramped around a small space.. The more at ease they are, the more they will be willing to stay!
What might be less obvious when it comes to comfort is creating an atmosphere of comfortable conversation, or a “judgement-free zone”. Your kids won’t be eager to talk about the success or hardships of their lives if they feel like they will be lectured, judged, or reminded about table manners at every meal.
Parents should let their children speak openly and empathize as much as possible. The conversation around the table should ideally have more laughs than tense conversations, and parents shouldn’t be afraid to share details about adult life with their kids as well. When parents share stories about their own day, they create a bridge of trust and will allow kids to open up as well.
This printable infographic reminds us of the importance of family mealtimes! Post it on your fridge as a good reminder for why it’s important to make eating together a family priority.
Thank you to Mary for these important reminders! As children get older, it’s often easier to get in the habit of everyone doing their own thing, but the teen years are a crucial time for continuing to find ways to connect and since everyone has to eat, family mealtimes are a naturally occurring event. It’s also more appealing to teens, if they get to help plan the meals and hopefully they may show an interest in learning to barbecue, make a salad and/or set the table. (Younger children often love to set the table and add their own original decorations – this is a great way to get them in the habit of setting the table on a consistent basis.)
As always, it’s all about connection, connection, connection.
I hope that you’re having a wonderful summer and finding different ways to connect,
Warmly,
PS. Are the back-to-school worries starting to surface? If so, I have spaces left in my 10-12 yrs. “Brain Science” group where children learn about the worries and how to manage them. This group starts tomorrow at the ABLE Clinic in West Vancouver and runs on Tuesdays and Thursdays for the next three weeks. For more information and to register online click here. (Please note the 7-9 year old group is full.) If you’re wondering if the 7-9 year old group is different to the the 10-12 year old group it is a bit different. The information is presented in a different way and we go more into depth on the various thinking traps and how to manage them.
You may also be interested in my children’s book, Surfing the Worry Imp’s Wave for children approximately ages 5-9yrs. and it comes with a free digital discussion and activity guide to support parents and professionals every step of the way. Scroll up and view the right hand side of this page, for more information on this book.
PPS. Are you going crazy with Summer screen time? If so, you might like to read my previous article where I share the app that saves our family from having daily screen issues.
PPPS. To receive my free ebook: 8 Common Mistakes to Avoid When Your Child Is Anxious click here.
COMMUNITY ANNOUNCEMENT: BLUERIDGE CHAMBER MUSIC FESTIVAL AUGUST 8-19 2018
If you enjoy classical music, the VSO etc. then you will love these concerts. My daughter was first introduced to classical music by this talented group when she was 9 years old and today, at age 15yrs. she still loves to attend these concerts. I can’t recommend them enough. The have duplicate concerts in North Vancouver and Downtown Vancouver. Hope to see you there 🙂
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