Blog

Why I Strongly Dislike the Term “Labelling” 

There are so many parents who have come into my office feeling confused or at a loss as to how to help their children and said:

“I don’t want to label my child.”

“I’ve been warned not to have my child assessed or they’ll get labelled.”

“Every child is unique and I don’t believe we can label our kids.”

“Labels create stereotypes and I don’t want our child stereotyped.”

You have probably heard similar statements.

I understand.

I agree that every child is unique and his/her own special essence.  I completely agree that we don’t want our children stereotyped according to their “label”.

However, I also wonder, if your child was having a difficult time seeing the writing on the board in the classroom, would you get his/her eyes checked?

If your child, was experiencing some hearing loss, would you see a specialist and try to find out how much hearing loss there was and if there’s a way to treat the hearing loss?

I suspect all parents would say “yes”.

Therefore, I whole-heartedly believe that it is important to have have our child’s brain/learning style assessed, when there are concerns.

A psycho-educational assessment (which can be done privately by a Registered Psychologist) or through a School Psychologist, is how we find out how a child’s brain is learning and interacting with the environment.  An assessment shows us our child’s strengths and struggles.  The assessment involves standardized measures so the data is reliable.  Once we are informed by data, we then know the very best ways to support our child. 

If, at the conclusion of the assessment, your child does meet criteria for a diagnosis, I don’t like to call it a label.  It is a diagnosis and no one child with that diagnosis is the same as another child with that diagnosis.  Yes, they may have some similarities but symptoms can manifest quite differently. Your beautiful child is still your beautiful child. A diagnosis does not change who your child is – it helps you further understand, at a much deeper level, how your child sees and experiences the world.

The Advantages of Having An Assessment

A diagnosis can help explain and reframe specific behaviours.  For example, a child with ADHD who seems to be fidgety, and easily distracted is no longer thought of as “rude” or wilfully not paying attention.  Now one realizes that this child has a neurological disorder which makes focussing on one topic at a time challenging and this individual needs to provide constant stimulation to him/herself to feel more grounded.

A diagnosis can help your child qualify for more support.  For example, in BC, a child diagnosed with Autism, receives $6000 per year toward his/her therapy for behaviour support, social skills coaching etc.  A child with a learning disability may have slower processing and therefore qualifies for extra time to complete tests to show his/her true amount of knowledge.

A diagnosis can help with parenting.  I’ve met so many parents, in my counselling office, who feel they are to blame for their child’s behaviour.  They’ve read all the parenting books, attended all the workshops and tried many different approaches, but their child still goes from 0-10 in a flash, resulting in volcanic tantrums.  When they discover their child has Autism Spectrum Disorder or ADHD, they realize that the way their child’s brain is wired, makes self-regulation much more difficult – this is not a result of “poor parenting”.  We don’t have to “reinvent the wheel” because other parents have walked in similar shoes to us and we can benefit from the current research which specifically addresses our child’s learning style.

A diagnosis can help the child/youth feel better.  As children get older, and their struggles continue, they may start to think that there’s something really wrong with them or that that they are somehow responsible for their struggles.  For example, a child may be a very bright student verbally but not able to put his/her excellent ideas into writing.  Teachers and parents may say “try harder” or these are the kids who are sometimes accused of being “lazy” because they are so bright.  The truth may be that this child is struggling with a written output learning disorder.  This is neurological not laziness! I’d rather my child be properly diagnosed as having a written output disorder, than the inaccurate “label” of “lazy”.

Warning!  The problems with “labels”

Some professionals are not trained to diagnose or tell you that a child does not have “x”, but unfortunately it happens frequently.  If you are wanting to rule in or rule out “x” for your child, I highly recommend  a psycho-educational assessment by a Registered Psychologist.

If you are wanting to rule in or rule out Autism Spectrum Disorder, there are very specific additional assessments which have to be administered by a psychologist with this very specific training – not all psychologists are trained in the assessment of Autism.  This can be very confusing, because a family may have had their child assessed but the assessment may not have included the very specific tests for Autism.  Sometimes, you may need to get a second assessment…

When a child has a diagnosis, others may think that this creates a “ceiling” on how much the child can progress.  For example, someone may think that a learning disability is the same as below average intelligence.  This is not true.  This is the definition of a Learning Disability: (credit: IdaBC)

“Learning Disabilities refer to a number of disorders which may affect the acquisition, organization, retention, understanding or use of verbal or nonverbal information. These disorders affect learning in individuals who otherwise demonstrate at least average abilities essential for thinking and/or reasoning.”

If your child receives a diagnosis, it helps him/her to make sense of his/her struggles which is very important, but we also don’t want this to become a “crutch”.  Your child may need some additional learning tools, or specific accommodations to support his/her success, which is important, but your child can still accomplish great things and be an achiever – it just may take a different route to get there.

I have been counselling for 23 years and during this time I have read hundreds of psycho-educational assessments.  I have found them to be incredibly helpful in how I support the child and his/her parents.  Every individual is wired differently and  if we can gain some insight into how our child processes information, organizes and retains knowledge and interacts with his/her environment, then this will benefit us all.

For more information on how a psycho-educational assessment works, you may wish to read my previous article: What Is My Child’s Brain’s Learning Style? 

Warmly,

 

**My children’s book: Surfing the Worry Imp’s Wave (A complete resource for parents and professionals of children ages 5-10yrs) is available for purchase on Amazon and on my website at www.sharonselby.com