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How the Oscars of 2022 Will be Remembered

By now most people have seen Will Smith’s slap towards Chris Rock at the Oscars.

To quickly summarize, Chris Rock, comedian and host of the 2022 Oscars made what he thought was a joke about Will Smith’s wife, Jada Pinkett Smith’s shaved hair by referring to her as GI Jane.  Jada was visibly offended.  At first Will seemed to join the audience in laughing and then he walked right up to the stage and slapped Chris Rock across the face.  Chris Rock was taken by surprise and stated “Will Smith just f—-ing slapped the sh-t out of me!”  Will Smith returned to his seat and then yelled out for Chris Rock to “Keep my wife’s name out of your f—-ing mouth!” twice.

To watch a clean version that you can discuss with your kids, Social Psychologist, Brooks Gibbs, has created a YouTube video with discussion and clip of Will Smith’s slap.

These incidents create valuable teachable moments for our kids.

Important Questions to Discuss about Will Smith’s Slap

There are so many important questions to discuss with our kids (depending on their age) …

Was it okay for Chris Rock to make a joke about Jada Pinkett Smith’s hair, knowing she has an autoimmune condition which causes hair loss?

If he didn’t know about her medical condition, would it have been okay for him to make the joke about her shaved hair?

What do you think about Will Smith using physical violence to stand up for his wife?

How well or not well do you think Chris Rock handled the slap?

What could Will Smith have done differently?

What does the expression “Two wrongs don’t make a right” mean?  How does it apply here?

What do you think about the audience all laughing at Chris Rock’s joke about Jada Pinkett Smith’s hair?

Do you think there may have been some deeper or additional issues going on for Will Smith aside from Chris Rock’s joke?

How do you think this damage can be repaired?

How do you think Will Smith feels now?  How do you think Jada Pinkett Smith feels now?  How do you think Chris Rock feels now?

Key Points to Discuss Regarding Will Smith’s Slap:

There are many different opinions being shared my many different people.

Here are my personal thoughts:

It wasn’t okay for Chris Rock to make a “joke” about Jada Pinkett Smith’s hair – whether he knew about her medical condition or not.

And it was definitely not okay for Will Smith to use physical violence to stand up for his wife.

I think Chris Rock handled the slap well.  He didn’t retaliate.  He did his best to diffuse the situation as quickly as possible.

Will Smith could have shown support for his wife, by moving his chair next to her’s and putting his arm around her or reaching out and holding her hand.

He could have spoken to Chris Rock after the awards and explained how upset he and Jada felt about his comment.

If he felt such a strong need to make a public statement, he could have gone to the stage and spoke into the microphone to publicly share this thoughts and feelings.

He also could have used social media or TV interviews to create awareness about his wife’s medical condition and explain how he believed Chris Rock’s “joke” crossed the line.

“Two wrongs don’t make a right.”  In triggering situations, it’s better to think of how to take the “high road” instead of revenge.

In groups, it’s common to act in the same way as the group mentality.  It takes personal self-awareness to stop, think, and realize that this is a situation where you don’t want to join in with the laughing.

Will Smith has previously shared that his father was physically abusive to his mother and to him.  He has stated that he’s always felt like a coward because he didn’t stand up to his father’s abuse, especially towards his mother, and has a vivid, scarring memory of this at age 9yrs.  It seems quite likely that Chris Rock’s disrespectful joke triggered some childhood wounds for Will Smith which contributed to his anger and dysregulation.

After a big rupture like this, re-pair is always important.  Will Smith has issued a public apology and I would imagine that Chris Rock, Jada Pinkett Smith and Will Smith will all meet in private to continue the repair.

There are so many important lessons to learn from this incident.

We discussed this incident in my older Self-Empowerment group for kids today.  They had good insights and it was valuable to see how the lessons we’ve been working on in group fit with this incident.

When one loses one’s temper, you lose your power.  Losing your temper doesn’t make you stronger.

Please head to my Facebook page if you’d like to share your thoughts.

Warmly,

PS. Registration is now open for my round of in-person “Brain Science” anxiety management groups for children ages 7-9yrs. and 10-12 yrs and online “Brain Science” group for 7-10 year olds.  Please click here for more information and to register.

PPS.  This incident is another reason why teaching self-regulation skills to our children from a young age is very important.  This is the goal of my newly released children’s book, The Big Feelings Book for Children available in the US here and in Canada here.  Thank you for your support of my new book – it was ranked #1 best seller for new release in children’s health books.  Please continue to leave your reviews at the US and Canada links above.  I really appreciate it and read every review 💗

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