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Online Sexual Predators via Social Media

A recent online sexual predators experiment by Bark (Bark is a parental control phone monitoring app to help keep kids safer online. Bark monitors social media, text, and email on Android and iOS devices) is summarized in this very disturbing YouTube video.  It was just released on February 20th and has already received over 2.6 million views.

Click here to watch “Bailey” – age 11 and her experience, as she opens a new account on Instagram.  Bailey, is actually, Sloane Ryan, Head of Special Projects at Bark.  With special effects touch ups from her team, she went undercover online as 11-year-old Bailey, who received numerous texts from online sexual predators within minutes.  Read Sloane’s personal account of the experience here.

Many years ago, I represented the West Vancouver School District on the  Lower Mainland Child Abuse Prevention Committee.  At these meetings, we heard from Cyber Tip and other organizations about the many stories of online sexual predators and how they were grooming children.

Grooming is when someone builds a relationship, trust and emotional connection with a young person so they can manipulate, and abuse them.  It was shocking then, but I realize it’s even more prevalent now.

Summary of the Social Media 11 Year Old Girl Experiment

I highly recommend that you inform yourself and watch the YouTube Video and read Sloane’s personal account, but to give you a quick summary:

• Within minutes of Bailey posting her new profile with several selfies of 11 year old her, she was receiving sexual messages from men on Instagram
• Men were video calling her
• They were explaining to her what oral sex and sexual intercourse is
• She was receiving sexually explicit videos from adult men
• Men were asking for photos of her various body parts
• Adult males were saying they wanted to have sex with her
• Online sexual predators are entering our kids’ bedrooms through the internet

What Can We Do to Protect Our Kids from Online Sexual Predators?

• Use a parent monitoring app, such as Bark, which monitors kids’ social media accounts, emails and text messages.  If it detects messaging that is sexual, violent, bullying, suicidal and other severe concerns, it sends an alert to the parent with a reference for what it has found. (I’m not in any way affiliated with Bark, but what I have read about their service, makes a lot of sense as a starting place for protection.  I like the fact, that as a parent, you’re not privy to every message that your child is sending or receiving, but as soon as something of concern is apparent, then parents get an alert.)

 

• Ask schools and school districts to consider a school-wide app such as Bark’s monitoring service for schools.  Some schools and school districts might believe that they have safety measures and filters in place, but from what I hear from high school clients, kids can work around the school filters.  (They can use a VPN app which then works around the usual WIFI filters.). Sadly, it is true that kids send nudes of themselves, watch porn sites, talk about self-harm and send images of cutting, etc.

 

• Teach your children about the meaning of consent. Have open discussions about what constitutes sexual assault, grooming, the ages allowed for dating by law etc.  (Read my blog:  Teaching Our Kids Consent – It’s Too Important to Ignore)

 

• Stick to the legal age for social media accounts which is 13 years old.  This includes Tiktok, Snapchat, Instagram etc.  Kids can get around this by entering a false birthdate but this is where parents need to be on top of it, and stick to age 13yrs.  I recommend grade 8, as this online world becomes more and more dangerous.

 

• Many kids set up a “spam account” for Instagram etc. so that their parents think they’re following their child’s Instagram account.  Meanwhile their child has another spam account, where they post the stories and pictures that they would not want their parent to see! (I read on the Bark website, that Bark can detect when a child sets up a new social media account and send the parents an alert.)

 

• Tiktok is the newest social media app to gain popularity (it used to be called musical.ly, was acquired by Tiktok a couple of years ago and has since seen an huge increase in popularity).  It may appear more innocent, as it’s often used by groups of kids performing a dance or a song, but I see it as a gateway to all the other social media apps.  Once one gets their first taste of getting likes and followers, it’s addictive.  Also, it quickly becomes more apparent that the more sexualized the song or dance performed, the more likes it will get.  It’s a slippery path downwards.   *I’ve been hearing that kids as young as grade 2 are now getting Tiktok.

 

• Have a close and connected relationship with each of your kids so that they can share with you what is happening online.  It’s not just girls who get targeted by online sexual predators, our boys need to be wary too!

 

• Online sexual predators can be found in other areas where kids gather online too, such as Roblox and Minecraft.  A while ago I researched how Roblox is being used by sexual predators and you can read that article here.

 

• Use a site such as Common Sense Media, not just to review movies, but to review apps that your child is requesting or already has.  Many parents use this site to warn parents about negative situations their families have experienced, so it can provide beneficial forewarning.

The addictive nature and dark side of the internet, is the biggest challenge we face in parenting today.  Protect Kids Online is an excellent resource for staying informed about the dangers of the online world.

All the best on your parenting journey,

Warmly,

PS.  Registration for my online parenting group for parents of highly sensitive and/or anxious toddlers to teens is now open.  This is a 12 month paid membership program that meets online, on the first and third Friday of each month from 10:15am – 11:15am PST.  All calls are recorded, so you can listen if you can’t attend live, re-listen and listen with your partner.  Each one hour discussion includes a presentation on a specific topic related to highly sensitive and/or anxious kids, followed by a Q & A discussion, where I answer your parenting challenges.  To see if you would be a good fit for this program, you’re invited to book a free 15 minute phone call with me this Wednesday, by clicking here.  I look forward to talking to you.

PPS.  Please help spread awareness about the risks of social media with our young people, by sharing this article with your friends and family.  Thank you for sharing.