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January is a natural time to press the “re-set” button and think about how we’d like 2019 to look.  Although, research shows that it’s difficult for the majority to stick to New Year’s Resolutions, there is also a lot of positive research about the importance of goal setting.

Years ago, I attended an excellent workshop on study skills by Terry Small and I always remember him recommending that we help our children/teens set goals using their report card.  I like this idea because it gives each child a concrete and individual starting place from which to work.  The goal setting focus can be on effort and/or letter grades or other grading systems such as “Approaching, Meeting, Exceeding” etc. 

Terry Small recommended printing up a few copies of your child’s report card and using a red pen (Did you know our brains pay most attention to the colour red?) to write the effort mark or letter grade that your child would like to aim for in in this next term.

The next step is to post this newly updated report card in a few different places.  If your child has a phone, he/she could also take a photo of it, and refer back to it on a regular basis to keep the goals in mind.

It’s recommended to post the report cards with the next term goals, in several places, in order that it remains in the awareness of a part of one’s brain called the Reticular Activating System…

Have You Heard of the Part of the Brain Called the Reticular Activating System? (R.A.S)

This part of the brain is fascinating.  For all the Moms, did you notice that when you were pregnant, you suddenly noticed a lot of other pregnant women? More than you had ever seen before?!

If you’ve ever been in a cast or on crutches, do you remember noticing that you suddenly saw a lot more people with injuries than you’d ever noticed before? 

Scientists have proven that this is due to our Reticular Activating System.  It filters out extraneous information and focuses on what we have told it to keep in our awareness.  In other words, it is our brain’s filter for sorting through the billions of pieces of data that come to us and keeping the information that we have decided to focus on as relevant.  

If we continue to look at our newly updated report card, with our projected goals noted in red, our brain will help us keep these goals in our focus and any other information that it deems relevant and in-line to help us meet these goals.  Isn’t that fascinating? 

(As parents, we can use this for goal setting too.  The old saying “What you focus on grows” makes sense when you understand the function of the RAS).

Have You Heard of The Accountability Ladder?

Another tool to help you and your family members all remain accountable, is The Accountability Ladder.  This concept of the accountability ladder seems to have first been used by the business community, but can also be applied within our families. 

You can access a printable pdf of this accountability ladder HERE and post it on your fridge. 

It’s a very empowering tool, and shows kids and teens that creating excuses and saying “I don’t know” are not empowering habits.  We want to teach our children to take responsibility. Whether it’s for homework or an inappropriate sibling interaction, the accountability ladder can help to call them on their behaviour.

When their behaviours aren’t supporting the goals they’ve set, this is a good time to see where they are on the accountability ladder.

I hope 2019 is off to a good start for you and your family and I wish you success with your goal setting,

Warmly,

If you think this blog article could be helpful for another parent or educator, please share using the social media tabs or forward through email.  Thank you!

PS. My next round of “Self Empowerment” groups for children ages 7-9yrs and 10yrs.-12yrs. will open for registration next week!

PPS. If you’re interested in knowing the topics of my most ten popular parenting blogs for 2018, click here.  (I always find it fascinating to see what topics are of most interest to my readers.)

* Interested in knowing the three mind shifts, that are not intuitive but very productive, in helping us all manage our anxious moments, watch my TEDx talk here.