Blog

How Can We Nurture Our Families to be Highly Effective?

In Stephen Covey’s book, The 7 Habits to Highly Effective Families, he outlines 7 very important points which I’ve been discussing the last few weeks and will summarize below.

Habit #7:  Sharpen the Saw!

This habit, Sharpen the Saw, comes from a story about two woodcutters.  Both of them are sawing down their own tree with their own saw.  The first woodcutter, doesn’t take a break, and just keeps sawing and sawing.  The second woodcutter, takes breaks and sharpens his saw when he takes a break.  Who cuts down their tree first?  Much to the surprise of the first woodcutter, the second woodcutter is the most proficient and efficient.  The message of the story:  The first woodcutter’s saw became dull and inefficient as he didn’t give it the time and care it needed.  The second woodcutter, took the time to take care of his saw, and he experienced the benefits.

Our relationships are like a saw or a plant.  We need to take care of them and give them time and attention.  If we don’t, they will become dull and ineffective, or as in the analogy of the plant, they will wilt and shrivel up.

As a family it’s important to take time for family vacations, family nights, 1:1 dates, family traditions, and quality time.

We’ve covered a lot in the last few weeks and I hope it has resonated with you.

Below is a summary of the 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families:

# 1.   BE PROACTIVE!  

• There has to have been a lot of positive interaction for there to be openness to negative feedback.
• What can each of us do to make a difference through influence vs. pointing fingers at others?
• For more detail on being proactive, read my previous post: How to Fill Your Child and Spouse’s Emotional Bank Account and the Circles of Concern vs. Circles of Influence

#2.   BEGIN WITH THE END IN MIND!

• What are the goals for you and your family?  What are your priorities?
• Try this golf balls, marbles, and sand exercise for Setting priorities for all the balls you’re juggling in the air!
• Create a family mission statement as a compass for keeping priorities and values on track

#3.   FIRST THINGS FIRST!  FAMILY FIRST!

• Read this post First Things First: How to Put Family First to understand why work outside of the home is so addictive and rewarding
• Put Family First by creating awareness of the importance, making a conscience commitment, imaging what it could look like, and having the will to make it happen.  A calendar is a great visual and tool for committing to a date for family time or 1:1 time with various members of the family.

#4.  WIN-WIN: THE ONLY LONG TERM VIABLE ALTERNATIVE!

• The use of family meetings to collaborate and develop buy-in for a plan
• Going from ME to WE as in a single person to a family
• For more strategies on Win-Win read: How to Set-up “Win- Win” and Forgo the Power Struggles

#5.   SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND … AND THEN TO BE UNDERSTOOD!

• Use empathy and validation to put yourself in the other person’s shoes
• Ask yourself, “What was the intent behind this?” Rarely is the other person trying to be malicious
• Things are not always as they first appear – think of optical illusions and how one can view the same picture in two different ways
• More tips at:  Seek First to Understand…and Then Be Understood – How to Stop Yelling!

#6.  SYNERGY!  TOGETHER WE ARE BETTER THAN BEING ALONE!

• “We count on each other’s strengths to help compensate for our individual weaknesses.  We know we’re better together than we are alone.”  ~ Stephen Covey (p.257)
•  We can accomplish more as a team than as separate parts.  1+1=3 How to Foster Synergy in a Spousal Relationship.

#7.  SHARPEN THE SAW!

• Take time to take breaks and take care of your most precious asset – your family

I hope you are having a wonderful summer and experiencing some QFT: Quality Family Time,

Warmly,

 

 

 

 If this article inspires you, please consider forwarding to friends and family or sharing through Facebook, Twitter or Email.  Thank you!