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According to Statistics Canada, approximately 8-13% of Canadians experience social anxiety disorder with the onset usually being childhood or early adolescence.  Unfortunately, the popularity of social media sites has created a whole new virtual way of experiencing social anxiety.

Do You Know About This Scary Phenomenon?

Did you know that one can buy Twitter followers, Instagram “Likes” and followers, Facebook “Fans”/”Likes”?

To give you an idea of some of the marketing wording on these sites, read the quote below:  (I have highlighted in bold the words that I find scary)

“We are here to provide Instagram followers at a cheap price, and help you to achieve popularity through Instagram….You are judged by the number of likes and followers you have on any social media platform, and Instagram is no different…. It’s an image of showing dependability and genuineness.”  Price: 1000 Twitter followers for $5,  10,000 for $30.  For Facebook one can buy 500 “likes” for $22 and 1000 “likes” for $42.  For Twitter, you can buy 5000 followers for $15 and $10,00 for $22!

What mixed messages this website is sending!  To be “popular”, it’s all about the numbers following and “liking” you and by purchasing their fake followers and fake likes, you are now “dependable and genuine”!!!

This is causing huge anxiety for our teenagers who feel pressured to be popular.

As parents, we’ve learned to teach our children that super models’ photographs are doctored and the skinny female models and steroid muscular male models are unhealthy role models.

Now we have to educate them about the dangers of social media “popularity”.  We need to help support them as they feel conflicted about wanting to be authentic whilst dealing with the peer pressure to have more “likes” and followers. For those who fall for the bait of buying “popularity”, they may then be further distressed by the chastising, if it’s discovered or suspected that they’ve purchased their followers and “likes”!  It can get very mean.

Unfortunately,  it’s not just the teenagers who are falling prey to these marketing messages, small business owners are too, and what does that teach our children?

As one top, authentic marketing website quotes:

If you are a person or brand with a conscience, this (buying “likes” and followers) should feel wrong to you, too. It reflects badly on you, and it reflects badly on your brand.

Fortunately, companies such as Facebook are smart and have figured out how to block the “popularity”-buyers from having their news feeds shared on other’s Facebook pages.  This can be a good discussion point, with your child, as it helps to depersonalize the conversation.  Would they want to trust a company that has over a 1000 followers but only a few people making comments? Does this seem authentic? 

How To Help Our Children Feel Secure and Engaged Without Needing Fake Social Media Facades?

According to social psychologist, Timothy Wilson, research studies have proven that regular volunteer work in one’s community gives youth the belief that “I’m a valued member of my community.”

The key is to make your teen feel like part of a larger whole that is making a difference. ~ Timothy Wilson

As with all activities, it helps to create this routine at a young age, but if your child is already  a teenager and not used to doing volunteer work, then he suggests steering teens toward their interests.  If they love sports, perhaps they can be a volunteer referee for a team for disadvantaged children.  If they love music, he suggests putting a group together to play at senior centres or daycares.  We can also lead by example, and create a volunteer routine which involves all members of the family.

Timothy Wilson has performed a lot of interesting social science experiments and also summarizes a lot of fascinating research.  Next week, I’ll be discussing his research-proven advice on how to make activities such as drinking, smoking and substance abuse less alluring.

I hope you’re all having a wonderful Spring break,

Warmly,