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Photo Credit: MW Carruthers

As we remember January 15th as the birthday of Martin Luther King, it seems fitting to think about our own dreams, and dreams for our relationships.  In Stephen Covey’s book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families, he discusses the power of creating a Family Mission Statement.  (Whether you have children or not, the steps that he outlines are applicable for creating your own Personal Mission Statement, or for a couple.)

What is a Family Mission Statement? … A Family Compass

Creating a family mission statement is a very powerful process as it also permeates into the subconscious and connects to the heart.  By going through the process of carefully identifying a family’s shared values and visions, it keeps everyone accountable and aligned with what is most important to the family as a whole.   Most businesses, schools, organizations etc. have a mission statement, and even Martial Arts studios usually have a creed that is recited at the beginning of each class – even with the three year olds!  Thus, it makes sense that families, that would have their own mission statement.

What Does a Family Mission Statement Look Like?

A Family Mission Statement may be a word, a phrase, a song, a poem, a piece of art, a document, an image, a symbol or some other creative idea such as using each letter from the family surname and creating a sentence for each letter.  What is most important is that it is created by everyone in the family, it represents everyone, and it brings everyone together.  It becomes the compass point for making family decisions, planning family vacations, problem-solving etc.  It creates a value-system and family identity, from which important decisions are made.

We stand at the crossroads, each minute, each hour, each day, making choices.  We choose the thoughts that we allow ourselves to think, the passions we allow ourselves to feel, and the actions we allow ourselves to perform.  Each choice is made in the context of whatever value system we’ve selected to govern our lives.  In selecting that value system, we are, in a very real way, making the most important choice we will ever make.

~ Benjamin Franklin

The Steps to Creating Your Own Family Mission Statement

Step One:  Have a family discussion to talk about your family and what everyone thinks your family is all about.  (Having this topic on your agenda for your Family Meeting would work well).  Brainstorm every family member’s ideas and feelings while remembering that in brainstorming all ideas are written down without judgement.  Depending on the age of your children, you might give everyone a few blank flashcards to write down their ideas first before putting them all together to share.

Step Two:  At your next family meeting, put all the ideas out on the table again and this time begin the process of synthesizing all the hopes, values and beliefs.  The goal is to create your first draft.  It takes time to create a Family Mission Statement and it’s important to create a draft and then live with it for a while, think about it, make changes, and discuss it.  Once it reaches a point where everyone feels comfortable and committed, write it up as a good copy, and give everyone a copy or display it on a wall.  If your family  prefers to be artistic, create your art piece that represents the content of your family mission statement.

Step Three:  Use the mission statement to keep each family member aligned with the family values and beliefs.  Refer back to it often and use it for planning such as planning a family vacation that gives you a chance to experience your values, hopes and beliefs.  For example, if one of the components was for your family to have courage then a challenging experience could be incorporated into a family holiday.  Refer back to it at your family meetings to see if everyone is “on track”.

In Stephen Covey’s book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families, he gives many examples of family mission statements that families have sent to him.  This is one example:

“Our family mission:  To always be kind, respectful and supportive of each other, to be honest and open with each other, to love each other unconditionally, to be responsible to live a happy, healthy and fulfilling life, to make this house a place we want to come home to.” p.94

Another example may be to take a creed from a martial arts school and adapt it to suit your family’s values and beliefs.  For example:

We intend to develop ourselves by …
We intend to develop our self-discipline by bringing out the best in ourselves and our family members.
We intend to…, to help ourselves and others, and never to be abusive or offensive.
We shall be loyal and respectful to each other,
We are the (family  name)! We are dedicated! We are motivated! We are on our quest to be our best!

There are many styles, but what’s important is finding the time to create the mission statement that will then become your family’s compass point.

Have fun envisioning the dreams for your family.  If you would be willing to share your mission statements in the comments section or with me privately through the “contact me” page, I would love to hear how this process goes for you.

Warmly,