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The Invisible String

This fabulous book, by Patrice Karst, creates a wonderful metaphor of an “invisible string” to help us when one is facing a separation through distance, death or even anger.  The message of the story is that love is stronger than everything and will always keep us connected.  This is a wonderful book for a friend who’s moved away with her family, for children of separated/divorced parents or for children who are experiencing separation (anxiety).  It is also a great tool for reparing the relationship after you’ve raised your voice – the message that love is stronger than anger is very important for children to hear.  (For other ideas on reconnecting after an incident, see my previous article on Repairing, Reconnecting and Reviving Your Relationship.)  You can make it a comforting ritual to incorporate the hand motion of the  invisible string connecting two hearts, to show that you are always connected, even when you are apart.

When my daughter was seven years old, her dear friend was in hospital for an extended period, with cancer.  As a present, from the class, we gave her this book.  The wonderful teacher had all the children make red construction paper hearts (with messages)  and she used fishing line as “invisible string” to attach the hearts  to a mobile that hung in the hospital room.  It was also a wonderful book for the parents to read to their daughter, as the mother and daughter experienced a lot of separation from the rest of their family, even though there were daily visits.

I have also heard of making an invisible string bracelet, with fishing line and two heart beads, to represent the child’s heart and the heart of the one from whom he/she is separated.

Another wonderful book with a similar idea is: The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn.  In this story the mother racoon’s kiss on her baby racoon’s cheek is carried with the baby racoon in their pocket.

Other ideas for linking the separation to ease separation anxiety

Some other ideas for helping children manage separation are;

• Family photographs (this is particularly good for very young children or children with disabilities who may not understand the metaphor of “the  invisible string”)
• A transitional object such as a stuffed toy, blanket, picture of a heart, a heart shaped rock or crystal etc.
• Notes are another great way of linking the separation – notes in lunch boxes, notes under pillows when you’re going away, notes in the mail etc.  Even young children can learn to read a drawing of an eye, a heart and the letter “U” for an easy “I love you” mesage.
• Technology messages – one can also send text messages, instant photographs and of course a phone call can be a great source of comfort too when you are away from them for more than a day.

Do you have other ideas of ways to link the separation?  I’d love to hear your thoughts.  If you think this article might be useful for a friend or family member please forward this to them.

Have a wonderful and connected day,

Warmly,