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How can we make sense of the devastation that happened in our beautiful city after the Stanley Cup final?

The Vancouver riots caused deep sadness and confusion for many Vancouver citizens.  It appeared from the Vancouver Police report that a group of rebels were intent on causing chaos whether the Canucks won or lost.  They came prepared and a minority of people didn’t need much encouragement to jump in and join this negative force.  However, the day after showed the true spirit of the majority of Vancouver citizens, as they came out by the thousands to help clean-up crews, and write messages of support on boarded up buildings and on sticky-notes on a  police cruiser.

Why did these hooligans not have any empathy?

Why did they feel absolutely no accountability for their actions?  Many people are hypothesizing.  Is the gap between the “haves” and the “have-nots” getting wider?  Do these people have no resilience?  Are these people part of the new generation of “Millennials” (who are described by some as over-protected individuals who feel entitled).  Has our parenting culture become too permissive?  (Read more on the Different Parenting Styles).

What can we do as parents?

As parents, it is our responsibility to instil moral values in our children.  It is up to us to teach accountability for their actions and teach them empathy.  For example, we can use literature to teach moral values such as the classic Aesop’s Fables or different books available on virtues.  (Some schools are also implementing The Virtues Project).

In past generations, children grew up hearing their grandparents tell stories with positive messages, schools taught moral education, and children often attended Sunday school at their local church which reiterated similar messages.  It is important for children to hear these messages from several different sources.

We need to let our schools know that we value programs that teach emotional intelligence such as  The Roots of Empathy program.

We need to ask grandparents to tell our children stories.

There are churches of many religions offering children’s programs and if one doesn’t believe in a specific religion, there are spiritual churches such as the Unitarian Church, which base their lessons on respect of one another and the environment.

We need to make emotional intelligence a priority. 

We Can Teach Morality and Accountability

Last summer I had an unfortunate experience that had a positive ending thanks to the parents believing in accountability.

I was driving in my car, with  my 5 year old in the back seat, when we suddenly heard a loud bang, and my driver’s side window shattered.  Pieces of glass fell on me as I pulled over.  I looked around and couldn’t see anything or anyone responsible for my broken window.  I drove on to my friend’s house and after our visit I fortunately took the same route home.  Standing on the road, by the broken glass, were two teenage boys (brothers) holding BB guns.  I pulled over and showed them my broken car window.  Although they had not been forthcoming at the time of the accident, they were honest when I approached them.  They explained that their target had been placed at a bad angle and they apologized.  I took their names, address, parent’s names and telephone number.

That evening I called the parents, wondering if they would be protective and deny their children’s actions, or would they accept responsibility.  Fortunately, they completely accepted responsibility and told me that their sons had broken every line of the written contract they had with them for use of the BB guns.  They offered to pay for all the damage and asked for my e-mail and address.  That night I received two apology e-mails from both of the boys, and the next morning, the whole family (mother, father and the two sons) came to our house.  The boys brought small apology gifts for my son (who had been very scared), the mother had also written an apology card, they gave us a cheque and each of them shook our hands and apologized.  My husband and I were very impressed with this family’s actions and how they showed their sons to take responsibility for their misconduct.

It was uplifting to see these photos of volunteers taking to the streets of Vancouver to help with the clean-up after the riots.  It is sad to think that the hooligans will not have to pay for the damage they caused and that it will come out of tax-payers’ pockets.

Let’s support each other in teaching our children accountability, empathy and respect,

Warmly,