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I can’t believe how much education has changed even in the last five years!  I feel so incredibly thankful for the current, progressive thinking in education and how well it fits with what research has taught us about parenting.  The most important message that we’ve learned, and from which our generation of children is benefiting…

“You Can’t Fit a Square Peg into a Round Hole!”

I found it really interesting to look up this saying and to see that is was from the 1800’s!  This metaphor, from a long time ago, was published in a late 19th-century book by the British novelist Edward Bulwer Lytton :

Kenelm Chillingly asks, “Does it not prove that no man, however wise, is a good judge of his own case? Now, your son’s case is really your case —- you see it through the medium of your likings and dislikings, and insist upon forcing a square peg into a round hole, because in a round hole you, being a round peg, feel tight and comfortable. Now I call that irrational.”

The farmer responded, “I don’t see why my son has any right to fancy himself a square peg … when his father, and his grandfather, and his great-grandfather, have been round pegs; and it is agin’ nature for any creature not to take after its own kind.”

~ Edward Bulwer Lytton, Kenelm Chillingly, His Adventures and Opinions

It has taken this many years for us to realize that there is a “Goodness of Fit” which looks and feels different for every individual. We can’t all learn in the same way or be taught with the same methods.

What is “Goodness of Fit”?

Drs. Stella Chess and Alex Thomas, famous for their research on temperament traits, created the expression “Goodness of Fit”.   It means that there is an understanding between two people of each other’s emotions and how each other experiences the environment.  As each individual works with the other to gain a deeper understanding of each other’s way of interacting with the world, each others differences are no longer irritating, but enriching.

How Are Schools Working Towards Creating A “Goodness of Fit”?

The discovery of self-regulation has been very exciting for everyone!  Occupational Therapists were aware of children’s individual learning needs for many years and would often make recommendations to classroom teachers for a specific student, but researchers such as Dr. Stuart Shanker have taken it further and are conducting pilot studies on self-regulation in classrooms across Canada, including British Columbia.  Teachers are seeing positive results for all students and this is creating further momentum!

The photo above shows some of the most common self-regulation tools being found in some classrooms today:

– a wobble cushion to help a restless/active child or to create more alertness in a lethargic child vs. kids rocking dangerously on chairs

– a fidget toy to be fiddled with quietly while a teacher is teaching, reading a story etc. vs. kids chewing pencils or shooting elastic bands

–noise cancelling headphones to block out background noise and create greater focus vs. kids being constantly distracted by sounds

– a “shield” or “office” to put around one’s desk and create a focussed working space, free from distractions vs. chatting to peers and looking around

– a pencil fidget to squish while one is thinking or trying to concentrate vs. breaking pencils

Other tools and methods of self-regulation include:

– movement breaks (run around the school playground, the whole class dances for a few minutes or does some stretching exercises)

– a cozy reading corner with bean bags etc. if a child needs some calm-down time

– water bottles with the spout which make you have to work hard to suck the water out

– being allowed to chew gum in the classroom vs. chewing on sweater sleeves etc.  (There’s also a company called chewellry which has created necklaces for boys and girls which can be chewed)

-going for a drink of water

-delivering some heavy books to another classroom

-weighted bean bags that go around one’s neck and sit on one’s shoulders (they can be bought as bean bag cats) to help “ground” a child

-allowing children to present material in different ways

How different are classrooms now, from the days of everyone sitting straight, not uttering a sound, and trying not to move, for fear of the teacher rapping your knuckles with a ruler!  It makes you wonder how much learning was actually happening then, if one was in such a state of high-alert.

Parenting and “Goodness of Fit”

Parenting has also changed, as parents have also realized that even children from the same family have individual needs.  What works to parent one child, may be completely different to what works for parenting a sibling.  As parents, I believe finding the “Goodness of Fit” between parent and child is one of the foundation blocks to effective parenting.

If your school doesn’t have many self-regulation tools, it may be worth seeing if there are some fundraising opportunities to help support the school in this area.  I encourage you to let your teacher know about your child’s learning style and learning needs.

Have a great week and perhaps you’ll catch yourself self-regulating in ways that you hadn’t noticed before…Do you cross your legs and then swing your leg?  Do you twirl your hair? Do you cozy up with a good book to down-regulate?  Do you go for a walk or jog to up-regulate?

Warmly,

 

 

 

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