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What to Do if Someone You Know Seems Depressed?

Last week, I posted a video about The Black Dog of Depression, created for the World Health Organization.  If you haven’t yet read last week’s article, this is a very important video to watch.  I also described JK Rowling’s Dementors in her famous Harry Potter series, similar to the photo above, and how they are created to symbolize depression, which JK Rowling has experienced herself.

If you know someone who is depressed or showing signs of depression, it can be very challenging to stay connected to them. The reciprocity of connecting back-and-forth, that is natural in relationships, becomes one-sided. The person suffering with depression, loses his/her motivation to reach out to others and everything feels too much energy and hopeless. Therefore, it is important to continue to reach out to that person. According to Gordon Neufeld, the first stage of attachment is proximity, which basically means “hanging-out” – being in the same space. If you are concerned about someone’s emotional well-being, it is imperative that you assist them in getting help from a mental health and/or medical professional.

Is Depression Genetic?

Scientists believe approximately 40% of depression cases can be traced to a genetic link. If there is a history of depression in your family, this does not mean that your child will necessarily develop depression, but it is important to keep a close eye on it. As I mentioned last week, people with higher levels of anxiety are more at-risk to develop depression, which is why it is also important to get counselling to help your child/teen/yourself manage anxiety.  CBT – Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, is considered the most research-proven effective method of treatment and can be introduced to children as young as 4-5 years, depending on each child’s development.

How to Gauge How Someone is Feeling?

A method that many counsellors use to assess someone’s mood is to ask the person how he/she is feeling on a scale from 0-10.  With this tool, it is important to define what the numbers represent.  For example, with “0” being the worst possible feelings and “10” being the best possible feelings, or in reverse, “0” meaning no stresses and “10” meaning them most amount of stress possible.  It is also important to keep in mind that someone who is feeling very depressed may say he/she is a 4 (if “0” is the lowest) whereas another person with the same level of sadness may describe him/herself as being at “0”.  Therefore, it’s important to have a conversation as well.  Validate the person, and let go of any judgment.  Also remember, “Feelings first, Logics Last”, the person may just want a listening ear, not advice.  Although, it is advisable to assist the person in getting professional help.

What If Someone I Know Seems Suicidal?

The Canadian Mental Health Association has an excellent website, describing what steps to take if someone appears to be suicidal. Most importantly, you need to convey your concern for the person, listen, non-judgmentally, to how they are feeling (being careful not to dismiss their feelings), and if you are concerned that they are suicidal, then ask them as recommended below:

The Canadian Mental Health Association states:

If you’re concerned about someone else, talk with them. Ask them directly if they’re thinking about suicide. Talking about suicide won’t give them the idea. If someone is seriously considering suicide, they may be relieved that they can talk about it.

**Please refer to the advice on the Canadian Mental Health website for suicide prevention, for the detailed steps to follow, if you are worried about someone.**

On a positive note, Clara Hughes, a Canadian Winter and Summer Olympic, six medal athlete is doing everything she can to create awareness about depression, through her own personal story. Her passion, to change the stigma around mental illness, is evident by her courageous cycle across Canada, where she spoke to people in 100 communities about her journey with depression. She went through a long period of time not understanding that she was suffering from depression, until she was confronted by a doctor. After being diagnosed, she was then able to begin her journey of recovery. Her advice for people who are depressed, is to get professional help and keep moving, even if it’s a walk around the block. Exercise, has helped her immensely. She is truly a Canadian hero!

According the Canadian Mental Health Association, 8% of adults will experience a major depression in their lifetime and “the total number of 12-19 year olds in Canada at risk for developing depression is a staggering 3.2 million” (CMHA).

Let’s do everything we can to detect the early signs of depression, and get the people we care about the professional help they need.

Warmly,

 

 

 

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