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The Importance of Understanding Temperament

Each human being is born as a unique individual with their own temperament.

Understanding the temperament of each child and adult in a family is key to finding out each other’s triggers and what makes one lose it!

Research has now proven that many of our personality traits are the result of our genetic makeup.

Temperament describes how we see the world and our natural reactions to our perceptions.  For example, our levels of sensitivity, caution, intensity, activity, persistence and adaptability.

We don’t choose to shiver at nails scratching a chalkboard or choose to have a high activity level, these are part of our temperament traits.   Understanding each other’s temperament helps you to find ways to work together versus engaging in power struggles and temper tantrums.

The Nine Temperamental Traits

Mary Sheedy Kurcinka is the excellent author of Raising Your Spirited Child:A Guide for Parents Whose Child Is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive, Persistent, Energetic and the accompanying workbook, as well as Kids, Parents, and Power Struggles. (As a child and family counselor, and parent of two, I read many parenting books and place Mary Sheedy Kurcinka in my top three favourite authors!)

Her books guide you through temperament charts to help you understand where on the continuum each member of your family fits for:

• Persistence
• Sensitivity/Sensory
• Adaptability
• Intensity
• Regularity/Rhythmicity
• Activity level
• First reaction
• Mood
• Perceptiveness

It’s eye-opening to read the questions and realize that this is why each of us reacts the way we do.

Once you understand your child’s temperament and accept that this is the way they were born and these are temperament traits that have been acquired, you can interact with them more easily.

Temperament is a key individual factor in the development of resilience (as mentioned in my article Raising Resilient Children & Youth).

An easy-going temperament is a protective factor that affects the resilience of children and youth.

A child’s inborn temperament will be evident within the first year of life, but can continue to be affected by a warm, caring and understanding environment.

Supporting Your Child’s Temperament

Caring adults can help to guide children and youth with their temperaments.

For example, avoiding excessive stimulation for a sensitive child, helping highly active individuals channel their energy, teaching self-soothing and calming strategies to intense young people, asking persistent kids what their plans are and giving them the opportunity to finish a task, keeping predictable mealtimes and bedtimes for children who need regularity, giving a cautious first reaction individual time to warm-up and teaching the quick-to-adapt child to “look before you leap”.

Supporting your child’s temperament, helping other family members and teachers to understand their temperament, and teaching your child about their temperament will all influence the development of resilience.

Warmly,