Blog

The Importance of Mindfulness in our Fast Paced World

Dr. Shefali says raising our kids means raising ourselves, which is so true!  To be able to do this, we need to slow down, take note of what is going inside of us and process it, instead of acting from a reactive place. Mindfulness is the practice of staying in the present, without judging, just observing what we see, feel and experience.  

When I heard about a five day mindfulness retreat on beautiful Saltspring Island for Healthcare Providers, I signed up and I’m so glad I did, as I knew this would be another opportunity to work on my own personal development. Here are my reflections on spending four and a half days in noble silence, as it’s called.

Key Take-Aways on Mindfulness and Parenting from Spending Four and a Half Days in Silence:

– Being off devices for five days was a wonderful respite from the world of technology which takes us away from being with ourselves. Kids/Teens need time to be without devices so they can access their inner creativity... writing/journaling/drawing/inventing/building/reading etc. (Each afternoon we had an hour and a half for our own “personal practice” time where we could go for a walk in nature, journal, read etc.)

– Being in nature, is calming. (Each day we did four to five silent walking meditations. We walked slowly, mindfully and without eye contact, as the objective was to remain as inward as possible.) It is human nature to be outdoors as much as possible, not indoors. One feels much more gratitude and presence when doing a walking mindfulness meditation.

–

– Yoga is beneficial for all ages and all body types. I highly recommend yoga for everyone, but especially our kids and teens who can receive so many benefits from it. (The Saltspring Yoga Centre offers a summer family yoga camp which sounds amazing.) Yoga teaches us to be in the present, as we stretch, strengthen and breathe. Yoga teaches us that we all have strengths and struggles and it’s best to stay on our own mat and work on ourselves versus comparing ourselves to others and how they’re doing on their mat. Yoga is also based on core principles of love, kindness, humility, surrender, growth etc. (We did yoga from 7-8:30am each morning and from 3:00-3:45pm each afternoon. I loved the yoga classes and our teacher who incorporated themes such as letting go, humility, forgiveness etc.). I would recommend having your child/teen try yoga.

– Healthy food is nourishment. It is the optimal fuel for one’s body and mind. And when you eat in silence and looking down, without eye contact (the noble gaze) you appreciate every delicious mouthful. You feel so much gratitude for the amazing cooks and food from the land. (Our cooks were all Karma Yogis, volunteers who come to the centre for a few months to work and offer their service.) I think it would be a wonderful experiment for families to try eating a family dinner in complete silence from time to time and see what you all notice. (For five days, I ate only vegetarian food, which is not my usual diet, but I loved it. We ate hot stewed apples from the orchard with homemade oatmeal and homemade granola. We ate lentil nut loaf with miso mushroom gravy and parsnip mash – this was one of my most favourite meals. Our food was in synch with the season, as we ate red, orange, yellow and green foods.)

– When you’re living together in silence (one yoga teacher, 21 medical doctors, one medical office assistant, three midwives and myself as a clinical counsellor) you become extra respectful. No one is rushing and no one is rushing in front of each other. Everyone is using hand gestures to encourage each other to go ahead of them. You become so mindful and thoughtful of everyone that surrounds you. Perhaps you could try one day of silence in your home and then share the experience with each other?

– Table centrepieces are meaningful. The yoga centre had a candle, leaf, small gourd and small vase with wildflowers on each table. This helps us connect to nature. When my kids were young, we’d collect items from nature (shells, leaves, pinecones etc.) to make a centrepiece along with a candle and some flowers from the garden, and after being at this retreat, I’ve started doing it again! Encourage your kids and teens to set the table and use their creativity while they’re doing it. What kind of centrepiece could they make with some items that are currently part of the season?

– Meditation helps with self-regulation and self-discipline. Even young children can sit on a cushion cross legged for three minutes/day. This trains their brain to focus. The goal of meditation is go inward and notice what sensations and emotions you feel in your body. If there are no particular sensations or emotions arising, then one focuses on the breath – the inhale and the exhale. Meditating with your kids and teens every day would help them go deeper into themselves and grow their self-awareness and self-discipline. (When I tell people that we sat in meditation for approximately four hours/day they say this would be the most challenging part and I agree, for me it was. However, Mark, the doctor running our retreat, was allowed to talk, as could our yoga teacher, Tracey, and they would share beautiful poems, quotes, and other wisdom for us to reflect upon as we sat in silence. Each day we had different themes such as Surrender, Forgiveness, Aversion (Protection), Loving Kindness, Joy.)

To summarize, going back-to-basics: Eating wholesome foods from the land, being in nature, having quiet time to restore and rejuvenate, being creative from an inner place, slowing down, having less external stimulation, stretching, strengthening and focussed breathing in yoga and meditation are experiences that benefit our whole well-being and benefit us all.

What mindfulness practices are you already implementing and what do you feel inspired to try next?

Warmly,

Sharon

PS. Registration is currently open for my next round of Self-Empowerment groups for children ages 7-9yrs. and 10-12yrs. (In-person and online).  You can read more about the topics (Increasing self-confidence, self-worth, communication skills, self-regulation, mindset, boundary setting, and navigating friendship dynamics) at www.sharonselby.com/groups