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The Benefits of Meditation Are Incredible

If I told you there was a free, natural, magic pill that could…

• boost your immune system
• increase your feelings of happiness
• increase focus and memory
• reduce anxiety and create more calm
• improve self-regulation
• increase executive functioning skills (the ability to plan, organize, manage time etc.)
• enhance your intuition

(See this Forbes magazine article on the research showing the benefits of meditation for children)

… you would probably be eager to get it,

so why is meditating for ten minutes a day so difficult when it’s also free and gives these exact benefits…

The Challenges of Meditation

•  I’m not sure how to teach my child to meditate

Many people think meditating means clearing your mind so that it’s completely blank which then gives you this feeling of bliss. However, this is a myth. Even for monks who mediate for hours per day, they aren’t able to have a completely blank mind.

Instead, we need to change our goal.

We need to expect that we will have a lot of thoughts. Our job is to be an observer of our thoughts and practice not reacting.

When we swim in the water, we allow the water to move our body.

We don’t protest.

Life isn’t inherently good or bad, but like the waves of the ocean just is…

if we are able to sit with the as-is-ness, then our anxiety will wash over us.

It’s when we react that we turn it into a tsunami.

~ Dr. Shefali Tsabary

The 7 Easy Steps of Teaching My Child to Meditate

1. Find a comfortable place to sit or lie down  (you don’t have to sit cross legged, you can sit on a chair or lie on the floor or in bed)
2. Either close eyes or focus on something (a candle, a stuffed toy on your belly, a point on the floor or wall etc.)
3. Set a timer (a minute per age is often recommended, although if you have a teen who has never meditated, you would want to just start with a few minutes)
4. Focus on breathing in and out and the circle that this creates.  Our breath is our anchor.
5. As thoughts enter our mind, just name them.  Example:  Birthday, Playdate, Homework, Argument, Favourite show etc.
6. Put the thoughts on a cloud that drifts away, or a bubble that floats away, a wave that washes away etc.
7. Return to breathing and noticing the cycle of breath.
8. Repeat steps 4-7
9. End when the timer ends and perhaps discuss what the experience was like

Explain The Benefits of Meditation to Your Child

Children may be familiar with us telling them to take deep breaths when they upset, but do they actually know the reason why?

We want to help them understand that by taking deep breaths we let our brain, the Amygdala alarm centre, know that this isn’t a real emergency and we are okay.

We also want to let them know that by practicing, we get better and better at doing it, just like practicing anything.

We want them to know that by doing a small meditation each day we can increase attention, focus, concentration, happiness, self-regulation, executive functioning skills and feel less stressed and less anxious.

For parents, I believe that keeping this end goal in mind is very motivating:

We are used to having a thought and being triggered by it, experiencing an emotion and reacting to it.  For example, if we feel anxious, we eat or self-medicate in some way.  if we feel angry, we experience an urge to vent  or even explode at someone.  By silently witnessing our thoughts and feelings, we learn to accept them as they are, allowing them to rise and fall within us without resisting them or reacting to them.

~ Dr. Shefali Tsabary

 

What if my child feels restless and wants the meditation to be over?

You or your child might feel restless, then tired, then busy, as your monkey-mind takes over, and then you might feel peaceful again.

It’s okay to have a monkey-mind.   Please don’t judge yourself. Know that it’s normal to have lots of thoughts and that you just want to let them pass on by.  (When we teach a puppy  the “stay” command, we expect the puppy to stay for one second and then run, and then we bring the puppy back to the “stay” command and try again – this is exactly what we need to do with our thoughts and our breath.)

Remember to set up for success and just start with meditating for a few minutes and then build slowly.  Teaching your child to meditate is the greatest gift that will last a life time.

The Importance of Role Modelling Meditation

It’s important that you take time to meditate for yourself too!  Practice what we preach…

Although it doesn’t sound difficult to find an extra ten minutes/day, I know it can be…I would try to build in a natural time for meditation that will set you up for success, so it’s not an add-on.

For example, you could set your alarm for ten minutes earlier. When you wake up in the morning, before you get out of bed, you could sit up in bed and meditate for 10 minutes.   This is a very nice and centered way to start your day.

If you are driving your child to an activity or picking him/her up for school, you could plan ahead so that you spend 10 minutes meditating in your car.

You could incorporate meditation as part of the bedtime routine with your child and meditate with your child.

Apps to Help You and Your Child to Meditate

There are lots of apps which can help you and your child to meditate as they provide a guided visualization.

I have created a one page guide for you (with live links) of my favourite calming apps for children to adults.

My 6 Top Apps for Creating More Calm for You and Your Children!

There is an app which I don’t have on this list which I do now recommend. It is called Headspace. It has a 10 day trial period and then it costs $10.95/month. This app has become very popular for a few good reasons:

• It keeps track of your progress and to see that you’ve mediated for 10 minutes/day for 20 days in a row, this is very motivating.
• The man’s voice who leads the meditation is very easy to listen to – he has an English accent and he talks in a regular tone not sugary sweet which can be annoying for some people.
• There’s also different categories of visualizations so if you specifically want to focus on reducing anxiety, there’s a category of visualizations just for this.

Recommended books for younger children on breathing and meditation and will help your child to meditate:

Peaceful Piggy Meditation

Mindful Monkey, Happy Panda

Frog’s Breathtaking Speech

I want to leave you with this quote…

If you  have time to breathe,

you have time to meditate.

You breathe when you walk.

You breathe when you stand.

You breathe when you lie down.

~ Ajahn Amaro

 

I hope this week is the beginning or continuation of your meditation journey,

Here are some previous articles I’ve written on Mindfulness: Implementing Mindfulness with Yourself and Your Children, and Putting Mindfulness Into Action.

Warmly,

PS.  Registration for my next round of “Brain Science” groups is now open.  These groups teach children ages 7-9 yrs. and 10-12 yrs. about anxiety and anxiety management strategies (including a session on mindfulness and teaching your child to meditate).  For more information, please view the flyer here and to register online please click here and go to “upcoming groups/events”.

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